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Living Uncoupled | a Man’s Perspective

Living Uncoupled, a Man's Perspective with Craig Wynne

Living Uncoupled | A Man’s Perspective

What happens when you realize that the relationship script: meet, date, move in, marry, etc., isn’t for you?

In this episode of Life Without Bookends, I talked with Craig Wynne, author of How to Be a Happy Bachelor, and a board member of Singles Equality. Like so many of us, he found his way to embracing the single life gradually.

My previous guest, Kathy Wasserlein, talked about her experiences in Being Single in a Couple’s World. Although there are similarities, I wanted to hear directly from a man. As Craig pointed out, many books and discussions on this topic are geared towards women.

The Shift from Discouraged to Happily Single

Craig talked about the turning point that came after a few relationship disappointments left him feeling increasingly down on himself about being single. One day, tired of the harsh self-judgment, he Googled “being single as an adult,” which led him to “singlism,” a concept developed by Bella DePaulo. It changed everything for him.

He began to see his circumstances differently, and to understand what it means to build a life that isn’t organized around finding “the one.”

Highlights

  • Stepping off the script. Craig described the “relationship escalator,” coined by author Amy Gahran, and why being happily single deserves the same respect as marriage, without turning the two into a competition.
  • Friendship as a foundation. Men often struggle to build friendships, and partnered people can let theirs lapse. Craig made the case for tending to your friendships, whatever your relationship status. I agree!
  • The one vs. the ones. Singles often have wider social networks and more community involvement. Couples can become more insular.
  • The stereotypes. From “playboy” to “Peter Pan” for men, and “cat lady” to “old maid” for women, labels that shape the way we see ourselves.
  • Who am I outside the role? We touched on how identities like husband, wife, mother, or partner can become so central that stepping out of them, through divorce, loss, or an empty nest, opens up a real question. Who am I now?

How to Connect with Craig

Visit thehappybachelor.org or email him, thehappybachelor678 @ gmail dot com.

Cited Resources – Support for Living Uncoupled

Single at Heart by Bella DePaulo

Stepping off the Relationship Escalator by Amy Gahran

The Single’s Guide to a Remarkable Life podcast with Peter McGraw

The Video Version: Living Uncoupled

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