Navigating the Transition from “We” to “Me”
A Journey Back to You
Your children are grown, and your marriage to this man you’ve known for years has ended. You’re finding your way, and yet you feel more vulnerable than you ever imagined.
Why Can’t You Just Move On?
No matter the quality of your marriage relationship and family life it acted as a container, providing you with an identity, focus and purpose. Between the empty nest and your divorce, that which contained and defined you is dissolving.
Navigating the shift from “we” to “me” after years of marriage is a journey into the unknown.
This life transition is not unlike the mythical hero’s journey. Who are you without that container to define you? What matters to you now? How will you not only survive but thrive, both in every day life and your inner world? We address and resolve these questions here.
Divorce as a Doorway
Rather than seeing divorce as an end, I encourage you to view it as a doorway – a passage into the next chapter of your life’s expression and your soul’s purpose.
Women have been conditioned to believe that we need a man – for love, safety and financial security. Even when you know differently – even when you earn your own money – this message is buried deep in the cells of your being. To walk away from that is a big deal.
In addition to learning to walk the earth as a capable and confident solo woman, divorce is an invitation to revisit your story and beliefs…to uncover what’s yours and what’s not. What are lies, what is truth?
The First Year out is Likely to Be “Bouncy”
You’re likely to feel everything from a sense of relief and liberation to waves of fear, guilt and remorse, and back to liberation again, all of it. This is what I call the ‘bouncy’ phase.
I went through the “bouncy” period myself, and I’ve watched others go through it, too. As with any significant change in life circumstances, it’s messy and confusing at first. One minute you think you got it; the next minute not so much. It’s normal to feel shaky and uncertain, even depressed, discouraged and ashamed. Some women deal with it by burying themselves in work, others by filling their weekends with activities or unhealthy seeking behaviors, and others by retreating into isolation. None of these reactions are wrong. It’s part of the bouncy.
Then one day, the bouncy begins to subside. You’re ready to settle in and begin the road to recovering and rebuilding in earnest. This is when I can be of greatest service to you.
Two Paths Before You
The Practical Path
Managing your finances, learning to ask for help, handling everyday tasks, making the big decisions, and navigating shifting relationships.
The Unraveling Path
Confronting the quiet fears and long-held beliefs that marriage often shields you from so that you can awaken to an unbound version of yourself.
In my experience these two paths converge, like two rivers coming together.
Some women just want to feel ‘normal’ again and get on with their life. They are on the practical path. There is nothing wrong with this… it’s a personal choice after all. Others – the women I serve – are called to go further, to discover what makes them tick and who they are independent of a relationship.
To learn more about me and what I can offer you, I invite you to check out my Coaching and About pages.